O, hai friends.
Fancy meeting you here.
Welp, here's another overdue blog post. It's genuinely quite difficult to blog when the circumstances you're living through is extremely confusing. I become simultaneously angry and hopeful, doubting and trusting, sad and overjoyed. Mostly, I just don't know how to articulate my fears and hopes in a blog capacity. Or maybe it's that I don't want to admit to myself what I'm going through, much less to you fine readers.
It's been 5+ months since my last post. In that time I was fired from waitressing for reasons I do not know, I got another job door-to-door fundraising for UNICEF (I've recently moved into the office there), I moved house about 6 times (I've recently moved into a house that I will be living in for a while), I've been broke, scared, in love, supported, hopeful, euphoric, overwhelmed, tired, anxiety-ridden, hateful, lonely, hugged, and kissed. And through it all, I feel as though I have had no choice but to keep choosing things that I think are right and maintaining trust in the Universe that I am exactly where I am meant to be.
I've been taken advantage of by people I thought I could trust and by people I knew I shouldn't trust but did anyway. I've had to fight for myself, and sometimes I've had to fight with myself to do it. I've missed my family every step of the way, but I also know that part of my journey is to do this without them.
I know that I am living a dream. I know that the reason why I came back to Ireland was because it was going to be a tough ride and I was going to discover a lot because of that. My perspective of Ireland has shifted this time around as well. I find beauty in this country differently than the last time I was here. And I know more of Dublin city than I had before. And it's been tough. And it's been brilliant.
It's bizarre to live in these times, isn't it? I grew up before and during this technological revolution. Going to college doesn't ensure work anymore, governments are failing it's people, and debt has become the new way of life, not just for individuals, but for entire countries. Violence is broadcast more than ever, the revolution will not be televised, but everything else will be. The internet contains all of the information in the world, but many of us would rather look at cats. Language is changing (lol!), and so is understanding. It's a confusing time, but we have more resources then we've ever had. I am concerned and hopeful for myself and for all of humanity. We've never been as connected to each other as we are right now. I hope we use it for good.
I'm still trying to find ways to fulfill myself creatively, but in the meantime I have found solid work and a place to live. It's taken me 9 months to do it, but I've done it. I'm still dating the same man, and I am properly head over heels for him. What a gift he has been. And I don't know what the future holds, but he has made these past 9 months really magical.
That's all for now, folks. I wish you love and peace and light.
Oh, and here are some photos of me:
