Ew.

I get it. It's gross. You probably don't want to see it or read about it. That's okay. I'm going to be a little proud of myself anyway. A little smug, even. And endlessly grateful. 

You see, I fancy a man named Andrew. That's him there. 

And here's where it gets SUPER BETTER. He fancies me back. How do I know this? Well, we tell each other with great regularity that we like each other.  We're really good friends. We spend a lot of time hanging out, going on adventures, eating food, listening to music and engaging in all sorts of general merriment. We have loads in common and even more to learn about each other. Sometimes we like each other so much that we get nauseous in each other's presence. Yeah, we're self-awarely vomit-inducing, not so much in public, but definitely in more exclusive contexts. 

We met about 3 weeks after I arrived back into Dublin. I won't sicken you with the circumstances in which we met, but suffice to to say we've been hanging out ever since.

Now, you may have heard me say things like "Coming back to Dublin has been tough" or "It's been a struggle of a journey" or "Get your fingers out of my chicken pot pie." All of these statement have been said at one point, and they all hold some merit. Coming back to Dublin has been extremely hard. After 10 months, I will FINALLY get to unpack this Sunday and settle into a place that I will live in for an extended period of time instead of being a suitcase wanderer. And it HAS been a struggle of a journey. I have been unemployed and overemployed and underpaid and fired and hired and spat on. And I really want you to get your fingers out of my chicken pot pie!

But I have been incredibly lucky to have met this man. He has given me companionship and understanding and support and love in some very isolating and hurtful and confusing times. He is an oasis of a being. And (I tell him this sometimes) I have no idea what the future holds. Maybe it works out, maybe it doesn't. But even with all the hardship, he has made coming back to Ireland totally worth it and I would do it all again.     hahkkggggg

Sorry, I just gagged a bit there...

So, in 7 weeks time I will board a plane with this man so that I can go see my family in Chicago and introduce them to the guy that I've been hanging out with for nearly a year. And he can meet the family and friends I have so desperately missed for a year. We will rent a car and spend two weeks in the States. We will drive to the UP of Michigan so that we can visit his sister and her family. I will show him where I grew up, the school I went to, where Aunt Mary used to live. We'll walk around Chicago and meet up with my sister and friends. And then we'll fly back home to Ireland together. 

And then shortly after we come back he will take me to a Little Dragon concert just before the one year mark of when we first met. I'm so incredibly lucky that I get to hang out with this mad, crazy, eccentric, talented, amazing man.  haaaaaaaahkkkggg

So, that's all I wanted to share. Thanks for reading. And I'm sorry if this was overly self-indulgent. hashtagsorrynotsorry. I hope someone was around to hold your hair back. End of romantic gratitude rant.

"Struggle to Understanding", or "I Like Commas"

O, hai friends.

Fancy meeting you here.

Welp, here's another overdue blog post. It's genuinely quite difficult to blog when the circumstances you're living through is extremely confusing. I become simultaneously angry and hopeful, doubting and trusting, sad and overjoyed. Mostly, I just don't know how to articulate my fears and hopes in a blog capacity. Or maybe it's that I don't want to admit to myself what I'm going through, much less to you fine readers. 

It's been 5+ months since my last post. In that time I was fired from waitressing for reasons I do not know, I got another job door-to-door fundraising for UNICEF (I've recently moved into the office there), I moved house about 6 times (I've recently moved into a house that I will be living in for a while), I've been broke, scared, in love, supported, hopeful, euphoric, overwhelmed, tired, anxiety-ridden, hateful, lonely, hugged,  and kissed. And through it all, I feel as though I have had no choice but to keep choosing things that I think are right and maintaining trust in the Universe that I am exactly where I am meant to be. 

I've been taken advantage of by people I thought I could trust and by people I knew I shouldn't trust but did anyway. I've had to fight for myself, and sometimes I've had to fight with myself to do it. I've missed my family every step of the way, but I also know that part of my journey is to do this without them. 

I know that I am living a dream. I know that the reason why I came back to Ireland was because it was going to be a tough ride and I was going to discover a lot because of that. My perspective of Ireland has shifted this time around as well. I find beauty in this country differently than the last time I was here. And I know more of Dublin city than I had before. And it's been tough. And it's been brilliant. 

It's bizarre to live in these times, isn't it? I grew up before and during this technological revolution. Going to college doesn't ensure work anymore, governments are failing it's people, and debt has become the new way of life, not just for individuals, but for entire countries. Violence is broadcast more than ever, the revolution will not be televised, but everything else will be. The internet contains all of the information in the world, but many of us would rather look at cats. Language is changing (lol!), and so is understanding. It's a confusing time, but we have more resources then we've ever had. I am concerned and hopeful for myself and for all of humanity. We've never been as connected to each other as we are right now. I hope we use it for good. 

I'm still trying to find ways to fulfill myself creatively, but in the meantime I have found solid work and a place to live. It's taken me 9 months to do it, but I've done it. I'm still dating the same man, and I am properly head over heels for him. What a gift he has been. And I don't know what the future holds, but he has made these past 9 months really magical.   

That's all for now, folks. I wish you love and peace and light.  

Oh, and here are some photos of me:

A Delayed Update

This new blog post has been a long time a-comin'.

I suppose the delay has a lot to do with the fact that it's been a slow process getting settled, and it's tough to post about things that are, well, tough. It hasn't been all shamrocks and Guinness and rainbows since I've been back, and that's really the part of the story that I prefer telling. 

But life is life. And life ISN'T all shamrocks and Guinness and rainbows all of the time. So, I've decided to give you a little update anyway.

I arrived back in Dublin at the beginning of November. I started working for a pretty sweet cocktail lounge/nightclub with the marketing manager as well as on the door doing some hostessing/pseudo-security. After the holidays, I wasn't scheduled for very many hours at all and it was tough trying to make ends meet. I started job searching and submitting my resume to a bunch of places before the same venue had an opening for floor staff. So, as of a couple weeks ago I am now finally working full time as cocktail waitress/hostess/pseudo-security, and soon they'll have me back in the office helping with events and marketing stuff.

I've been staying with a good friend of mine this entire time, but I will hopefully be moving into my own space sometime in the next week or so. Having my own place will help me feel settled and it'll give me a sense of accomplishing what I came over here to do in the first place. I've been taking improv classes, which has been great, and I recently heard back from a music festival regarding the potential for projector art. This particular music festival is themed around camper-vans. Lucky for me, the lad I fancy happens to be a proud owner of a beautiful one (a dream I've had since I was 13): 

So that's really it for me here. Sorry it's taken me so long to update. I haven't even properly left Dublin since I've been back. I'm hoping that will all change very soon though, and when it does I'll make sure to let you know.

And, as always, thanks for reading and I love you.